An Open Handed Prayer

17 Sep

I sit here tonight with
open hands trying to
catch whatever
happiness
might fall my way.

Tonight, I hurt.
I’m coming down.
It’s coming down
not a physical thing
at all,
but feelings
if you care
about distinctions.

Yeah, tonight set me
right back on my heels.
I hear things banging in
the windoutside- God
always takes care of
himself first- I lost my
appetite
thinking
drinking
about that
and this
luminous life consuming
the holy sweet blood
of Christ, but
it really means nothing
to me.

The beat to the music
sweet and rough
none-of-them-lovely
no-faces-six-a.m.-alive
in the night
cool and fresh.

I go to the window
lifting my cup to
trembling lips
staring through eyelids
wanting to close
the tent of careful
wisdom
down to drown out
the sun
again and again
over and over
amen.

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